then i read an article in a magazine and it sent chills up and down my spine.
i approached joel about it...but he doesn't seem to agree even enough to discuss the matter...and my mom told me he told them about my concern for CJ as a seeming concern for me being overly worried.
but i can't shake it. its that question in the back of your mind that you just want to go away but it doesn't.
so today i looked into some stuff online...and tried to keep a truly open mind so as not to immediatly jump to any major conclusions...
what i did jump to was that in order to make the question go away in my own mind...i think i'll have to ask it to someone who might be able to answer it once and for all...
his doctor.
i am worried that CJ may be showing SOME signs of a high functioning autistic toddler...
his obsession with foam letters and numbers...never letting them go...lining them up constantly...
its not a normal 2 year old behavior...
he communicates okay...and is getting better and better...but still seems to lack in that department.
his speech is hard to understand...but mostly he likes to sing songs and ABCs and repeat phrases...but if i ask him "do you want MILK or JUICE" he just starts getting upset...
he knows what he wants...but he can't tell me...and he knows how to say both "milk" and "juice"
he throw tantrums when he can't communicate...which is normal for a two year old...but especially so in autistic two year olds.
i have spent the better part of the past hour reading up on all i can...
he might fall under the heading of Asperger's Syndrome
here is one site for understand the autistic spectrum
they have listed signs and things to look for:
The US National Institute of Health estimates that one American child in 250 is affected with an autism spectrum disorder, compared with one in 10,000 a decade ago. A recent survey by the National Autistic Society in England suggested that the rate may be even higher; that one in 86 primary school pupils may have the condition.
- Unusual Interests: The child is likely to be interested in something other than the interests of peers, including (but not limited to) electronics, transportation, outer space, maps, a particular academic area (science, geography, math), toilets, doors, or some other particular object or topic. The area of interest may change over time, but is likely to be intense, to the exclusion of other objects or topics. Parts of objects may interest the child more than the whole (wheels or doors on a toy car as opposed to the whole car), and the child may develop unique ways of playing with toys (lining them up in a particular order, etc.). *The child may also be interested in some of the same things as his or her peers, but to such a degree that they exclude all other things. this is particularly true for my son...almost represents CJ perfectly...he has latched on to random objects since around 9 months. rubber ducks...then the fly swatter he loved...then shapes...now letters and numbers. when he is fixated...its all or nothing...
- Unusual social interactions: The child may be interested in having friends and being social, although he or she will likely seem to be lacking in the understanding of how to go about that. The child may seem to know all the right words for interacting, but lack the ability to be effective in initiating and maintaining conversations and friendships. (Conversations are likely to be quite “one-sided,” frequently focusing on the child’s area of special interest.) The child may seem to prefer to be alone, and may find it particularly difficult to join his or her peers in imaginative play. There will likely be a lack of (or difference in) eye contact. There is a possibility that the child may be either the target of bullying, or in some cases, may be one who bullies (either with or without intent). The child may not understand other people’s interests, actions, intent, or emotions. The child may also be unable to identify or regulate his or her own emotions. i think its still a little early to tell on this one. he loves being around other kids...but he doesn't have enough play time with other kids for me to be certain that he has any social issues...also, he is rarely around a child his own age...usually its a kid much older or much younger so its hard to see how CJ compares.
- Unusual physical movements: The child may display self-stimulating behaviors, including (but not limited to) rocking, flapping a hand, banging his or her head, and flicking fingers in front of the eyes. There may be some physical awkwardness or seeming lack of coordination, such as difficulty alternating feet while walking down stairs, unsteady balance, walking into objects, and difficulty coordinating the use of both sides of the body (jumping jacks, riding a bike, swinging the arms while running, etc.). not so much....and yet i can think of a few things he does that MAY fall under this heading...but mostly i don't see this one in him as much...
- Unusual reactions to objects, people, and situations: You may be surprised by the child’s sudden violent reaction to touch, sounds, people, suggestions, or events. The child may also show little or no response to things (sounds, pain, etc.) when you would expect some type of response. Transitions, disappointments, or changes in routine may be particularly upsetting. The child may exhibit an unusually high level of anxiety, possibly engaging in ritualistic and/or compulsive behaviors or rituals when worried or upset. The child may allow some things (touch, criticism, information) from a select number of people, but not from anyone else. A child with sensory processing difficulties may either avoid certain stimuli (including sounds, sights, touch, smells, flavors/textures, movement, etc.), or seek them out excessively. again...i can see this in him SOME but not enough to really say for sure. texture does seem to be a big deal to him. and after re-reading i can think of a few other moments that might fall here...
- Unusual speech and language: Sometimes the child has an advanced vocabulary, with very “correct” speech (pronunciation, grammar, usage)— sounding like a “little professor.” (This is particularly common in those with Asperger's Syndrome). There may be an unusual prosody (rhythm, pitch, or stress), perhaps sounding somewhat “foreign.” Words, phrases, or sentences may seem out of context, perhaps being recited from memory (echolalia). Children with ASD may be able to read and/or talk well (some may have precocious reading ability, and many of those are particularly interested in non-fiction), but have difficulty answering questions or comprehending what they hear and read. The child may tend to interpret language literally, experiencing difficulty understanding humor, sarcasm, or figures of speech. Social use of language (pragmatics) may be different or even impaired. Other children with ASD may be non-verbal, or severely delayed in speech and language abilities. CJ isn't lacking in vocabulary...but he doesn't seem to use it in ways that would make sense. he knows all his letters, numbers up to fourteen, shapes (including pentagon, trapaziod, octagon, oval versus circle, rectangle versus square) he knows his ABC and sings it PERFECTLY until "now i know my abc's next time won't you sing with me" he slurs that part pretty bad...but its there...he knows twinkle twinkle, if your happy and you know it, and loves itsy bitsy spider... he knows words for most foods and he knows people's names...but for all of this...he doesn't seem to put many words together to communicate to us... "hi dad! hi mom!" he'll do...he asks us "what'r doin?" a lot...but these are things he's learned from hearing us...not too sure if he knows what he's saying or asking. he does tell me "i love you momma!" that is my favorite...and not so much a sign of autism at all...
- Unusual abilities: The child may have an incredibly accurate memory of seemingly obscure details (facts, quotes, locations, dates, phone numbers, etc.). This ability to memorize may or may not consistently extend to “common sense” details such remembering homework assignments or where the individual put his or her shoes. Although some children with ASD have a low IQ, others may excel at one or more academic areas, having an average to high intellectual ability. trapaziod....need i say more?
i don't know...all of this may prove to be nothing...my child may just be a little different and may grow up to be perfectly normal...but i also read that when caught really early...they can almost reverse the negative symptoms and some kids get their diagnosis even taken away...with the right treatment....
so in june when evie is born we are making an appointment for CJ's three year visit and i am going to talk to dr. keown about my concerns...even if joel thinks its silly...
i won't feel okay with it until i do.
