you know...something about finding out the gender of the baby paints all your pictures...
when i was pregnant with CJ every fiber of me was certain it was a boy...i never felt okay expressing that for fear of being wrong and people thinking i would be disapointed.
when i learned he was a boy suddenly my image of our family life was painted with blues and baseball and all things "boy" it wasn't that i was stoked to be having a boy...it was that i was stoked to see the picture of our lives...
then with evie...
i knew she was a girl...i called her "her" a few times...i was more willing to be open in my feelings this time knowing that no matter either way it would be perfect.
when they said "its a girl" my world suddenly was filled with dresses and pinks and all things feminine.
but also...the thought of having a daughter...to talk to about makeup and boys...to help guide in womanhood....suddenly i couldn't imagine not getting a chance at that...
so when amanda told me that she too was pregnant it seemed too perfect...
two babies...just under two months apart...
if she has a girl i have a picture in my heart painted of evie's best friend....
if its a boy...our two families...two boys and two girls...playing together and bonding within genders and ages.
CJ and theona are already fast friends...and while i think of knowing amanda for forever...CJ can say that theona knew him since LITERALLY the day he was born.
he lights up at the site of her.
he has after all only three friends who are kids...her and zach and matt...
he knows theona the best.
and when evie's new friend makes his/her appearance then i can clearly see the picture...
sometimes it feels like one big family.
i love that feeling.
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You know when I found out that we would have a little boy, I suddenly pictured what it would be like to make him a good man. A southern gentleman. We will have four wonderful children...and hopefully more!
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